A Prayer for the New School Year

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

I Never Have The Cool Halloween Costume

While I was trying to figure out whether to dress up as balloon boy or maybe some dead celebrity (the most popular trend this year BTW) a 20-year-old Cincinnati man dressed as a Breathalyzer test. As ironic as it sounds, he later found himself blowing into one when Oxford police picked him up on suspicion of drunk driving Halloween night.

Oxford police arrested James P. Miller after allegedly finding him driving the wrong way down a one-way street with no headlights at about 1:30 a.m. Nov. 1., according to a police report. Miller, who was allegedly stuffing his mouth with chewing gum, told the officer he did not have anything to drink that night, according to police. Police found an open container of beer in the center console, a partial case of beer on the passenger side front seat and more beer in the trunk of the car, according to the report. Miller also had multiple Ohio driver licenses, police said. Miller was taken to the Oxford police department, where he blew a 0.158 percent blood alcohol level – nearly twice the legal limit. Not bad considering he didn't even drink that night...lol.

It makes you wonder though if when he got pulled over that maybe he thought the cops were actually just in costume.

Just a Matter of Perspective

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude".

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican". "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!